Ahh!! I want to thanx everyone for the comments yesterday! You guys rule. and I still dont know how to get that music thing to work.. soo.. could someone tell me…?

Thanx

Last night i went to Nicks house. We watched Emporers New Groove. lol.. I love that movie. Then watched blue collar comedy tour. I love those too!! lol.  Yeah, it  was fun. This little boy came over, and he was the cutest thing. And Nick told me that hes nervous about having a baby, thats why he doesnt like it when i talk about it. Sooo.. yeah. I thought he was ready… Guess not.

I burnt my finger this morning. OW! it hurts. But i called my grandmother, and she knows someone who can talk the fire out of it. ..it worked. now i dont feel a thing, just have a blister. but it hurt.

Im gonna stop eating. Only fruits, veggietables and water..

My period hasnt come yet, but it always 2 days late.. and today would be the second day. But I do want a baby, but you no how last week on thursday and friday i played on this slip n slide… dontcha think that hurt the baby?… Thats the only  reason i dont want this baby if i am pregnant. It probably wont be healthy, b/c ive squished it and i dont want it to have to suffer in this world as a unhealthy baby… Dont you think?

Tell me what i should do please…. Just incase i am pregnant.

Me and Nick decided what to do if Im preggo. We would find out if the baby is okay, and fine. B.c i didnt know i was pregnant and i played on a slip n slide. soo i probably hurt the baby. So if i am, we’ll go to the Dr. if the Dr. says ive hurt the baby, we’re gonna have an abortion, we dont want the baby having to suffer because of me. Thats gonna be really hard for me thats why. this once, I hope im not pregnant.

mixed feelings

HOPE EVERYONE LIKES NEW LAYOUT.. That music box doesnt work.. if you no how to work it. please tell me.

I had another dream about a baby. I was at the church baby sitting the cutest little girl.. i think she was like 6 monthes. She was so cute. but i didnt know who her parents were, but it was at night. and i kept trying to get her in bed. and i kept changing her clothes.. aww. I want a baby!

My period is late again.. it always is.. but i wish it was on time.. sometimes it is.. but ugh.. ever since ive wanted a baby.. my period has been late.. why does my body wanna joke around with me like that? gosh.. always gets my hopes up….

But anyways… Yesterday me and Nick went to wal mart to get his car fixed, and we played hide in go seek… lol it was fun. Then we went to Me memaws.. and Bobby was there, so we all played around. it was fun.

Me and Nick were supose to go to Books a million to get some books today, but like everything.. nick has to change the plans. ugh. it pisses me off so much when someone changes the planns. We’re going to the water park on the 14.. and if that gets changed i dont know what im gonna do.. ugh.. sometimes i think i can find someone better.. isnt that sad? but im not gonna break up with him.. but yeah..

Im gonna write some more. Im just gonna ramble on.

We are so poor. My mom gets 40$ every 2 weeks, and that money is to get us food… i guess it last good b.c there is NOTHING in our fridge.. I dont mean nothing as in no good food i mean nothing. no coke… there is a peice of cheese.. and milk. one cup cake. and ketchup and mustard and stuff ect.. and yeah..its crazy.

But yeah. Im hungry. We do have coffee tho.

I no im not pregnant. We used 2. But i just wish i was. I wish a miricle would happen and i would be. ugh. I no that is not gonna happenn. but i hope so. I always day dream about it. sometimes i wake up at 7 30 and lay in bed until 9 just thinking about having a baby, and thinking about how ill tell nick and everything. ugh. i no.. its a deppression. and obsession. i no.. ugh. I cant help it. But im too stressful right now to have a baby and i told Nick that. but ugh.. oh well. gonna go

bye

Im gonna start with a dream i had last night, then ill tell you about the last couple of days.

The dream- The dream started when i was delivering. My babies were comming out of me. One boy one girl.. they were my twins. I didnt feel a thing, cuz they had so much of that stuff in me. then we were going home, and i was holding my babies. and they had there cute little clothes on, and i dont know where Nick was, he wasnt in the dream at all, it was just me and my mom. and we went home, and they had there 2 little cribs.  it was so precious. everyone was comming over to see my babys. it was fun. We went to wal mart to get more outfits, it was great. Then i asked my mom, ”Did i really have babies?” and she said yes,, and i was so excited. then i woke up. and look around… no babies. just me. it was disapointing, but it made me relize how awesome its gonna be. and i cant wait.

Saturday, Michelle called me at 8 30, and and said im bored lets do something, she wanted to go bowling, and since she doesnt have a car, she needed a ride. So i called Nick and asked him if he wanted to go bowling but he had to pick up some people. and he said yeah, so me him Michelle, Katie, and Anthony, all got in Nicks little car, and went bowling. yeah.. it was fun.

Anyways, yesterday went to church, then went to nicks house, had a great time.  Had ribs. they were good. and just hung out. talked about having a baby. he said if i was his age, he would. that made me sad, made it feel like it was my fault, and he told me it wasnt. No one knows how bad i want a baby. no one. yeah. we all sat around and talked. and yeah i guess it was good. then i came home and painted my toes, and Nick gave me money to go to the tanning bed, but then i remember i cant find my goggles. so i cant go till i find them.soo yeah.

well thats all i gotta say. leave me comments.

I love Nick, and my future Madison.

Hey. Well yesterday was a werid day. Nick was supose to be here at 10, at 11 30 he showed up, i was pissed. I hate it when he does that, i was gonna break up with him, i no thats a little thing, but thats my biggest pet peeve, PEOPLE NOT BEING ON TIME!! grrrr. But then he said he was with his mom so i let it slide.. that time.  i mean, hes late all the time, hes gonna be late to our wedding, ugh!

but anyways, we slip n slided yesterday, down that huge hill, the boys got beat up, I didnt tho!  lol, but finally we moved it to flat surface, that was fun to me. Lol.  then i went to Nicks house, we watched TV, made out.. you no, the regular. yeah, then we went to Bobbys baseball game. then back to Nicks house, fooled around there, had a long talk, and we cried together, (Im not gonna say why) then we got over it and held each other. Then we had burger king, then it was time to go home. and yeah. That was my whole day!!

well thats all ive got. I prolly wont do anything today os, i probably wont write again, but leave comments.

Me and Nicks diet starts today!! Wish us good luck!!!

xoxo, Lauren

wow, well tuesday i got my permit, yeah, so you’ve read. and i went to Michelles house to spend the night, we had a good time, Me Michelle, Arianna, Sam, Bobby and Chris.. all us kids in the little house, it was crazy, but we all manage to get a good place to sleep, and it was all good, i watched the kids while Michelle tried to get her lisence on thursday, but she was too late.

Then- I went to the dentist, got cavitires filled, i hate being numb for 4 hours. It was bad, but oh well. Then mom went to church at 6 and she got home at 10 and i did not know it would take that long, so im freaking out cuz she cant drive good a night, and no one would answer there phones!!! soo.. yeah, but i called Nick and he was like well shes still at church and i was like good, and my dad stayed in opealika (sp) so i was by myself, and  i was worried about my mom. but everything was okay.

Today- Nick came over at 8 30, and we went to the church, went to Freds and went to his moms work, then went to McDonalds then went to Walmart, i bought a slip-n-slide, took it over to memaws, me and Michelle had so much fun on it!! it was great, then we tanned. fun.

Nick and Tony are comming over tomarrow to play on it. !!!im happy. yall no how i have that HUGE hil in my back yard? yeah well were gonna put the slip n slide down it!! hah! gonna be fun! so if ya wanna come, come over to my house tomarrow!! gonna be fun!!

MICHELLE GOT HER LISENCE!! YAY!!!

lol, thats all. I love Nick

Love, Lauren.

PS, that took forever to write.

Who really read all that???

I GOT MY PERMIT!!! YAY!! I only missed 2 questions!!! It was great!! go me!!! yeah, and i got to drive the trailblazer, i dont like that too much, i like a car. yeah. it was fun!! well thats all i gotta say now!! SEE YA

ILOVENICK

I truly and forrealy lost my virginity yesterday. I no i have b4, but.. not like yesterday. Yesterday was different.

BUT DONT WORRY, God is punishing me.. I study all day, and last night, and alot b4 for my permit test, I misssed 7… I cried. Dont tell Nick tho. It was terrible, im so depresed i havent even talked. Ugh. I hate it.  Going in the mornig to retake it. I studied alot of SHIT, NONE IS IT WAS ON THE TEST!!! lil fuckers.

Well yesterday me and nick went to this party thing, and we got in the pool, he pushed me in, then he got in with me. I love him. yeah, well thats all i gotta say.

Btw, whoever left me that comment saying ”Dont put that in you xanga”
Go fuck a duck, i dont give a shit what you think, you dont have to read my xanga if you dont like it.

Im about to tell you something you might not wanna know, Nick just cummed in my mouth, i hate that. It was the first time and it was gross.  He said i did good, but when we were done i gagged when i was spitting it out, we did 69, he was fingering me, and i blowing him. yeah..

I no you didnt wanna no, but i had to say it.

Anyways, Im going to this thing tonight, fun stuff, with nick, it’ll be great, had a good time yesterday with Nick an Brett and yeah.

Thats all i gotta say.

Love ya.

YESTERDAY WAS MY BIRTHDAY!!!

IM 15!! I dont know when im getting my permit… but oh well.

Anyways, yesterday was crazy! but, WE DID HAVE GRADUATION. it was awesome.

Went to work with mom-her kids are crazy, and STUPID!! It was retarded, and with my birthday money i got nick a book. weeelllll.. it started hailing, it was insane, went to the mall they didnt have a book store. finally got the book, it stoped raining, went home got ready for graduation, and went. It was nice, I was the first person Nick called after graduation! I felt special. Nicks uncles were in town too, but yeah. Then we went to up the creek. that was gooooooood food, we should go there again. It was fun! Then we went back to my house, to get my birthday stuff, and Nick got me a Dixie girl bear, and rock for your foot, and a fossill wallet. then his mom got me, Frozen daquarai.. or however yoou spell it, and lotion of the same, lotion and spray, yeah it was grreat, then went home went to bed. Not special, i guess the birthday i had was one thursday, but we made a cake and we’re blowing it out today! YAY

Well fun fun fun. see ya later.

Everything i got for my birthday from memaw.

Corona night pants
2 shirts
A dress
shoes
Avon Makeup

Wow, i just got back from being with Nick all day, well he came over at 10.. then we went to Emerald Falls, played putt putt and go carts, and games, fun. Then we went to eat with his mom and Tony, then we went by his house so tony could get something and nick could get my year book, then dropped tony off, got to my house, read our year books, and he did something to me, and i did something to him, he was only here 5 min to, he had to go to work.
haha,  i had fun!

Graduation might be canceled.  I feel sooo bad for Nick, He said hes gonna cry if they dont have graduation. I will too. I feel so sorry for him and b.c i bought a new outfit for graduation. SPENT 2 HOURS LOOKING FOR SHOES. and bought nail polish to go with the outfit, Ima be pissed.

leave em sweet.

end edit–

I had a great time last night, went swimming it was great. Nick couldnt go but he called me and i told him to call me back in a hour. he said okay, I had to call him at 9 15. I hate, and he hung up on me and i hung up on him. Why does he do shit like that? and yesterday i bought him a little baloon that says i love you and a candy bar. and then he does shit like that. ugh! i hate it! ugh but yeah. Then last night, i was really upset about all that, and my head was killing me from swimming, i wooke up at 2 and couldnt walk, my head was killing me so bad, but i did get some pain releiver. and yeah, i feel better.

Well me and nick are going putt putting today. Lol. how funn. and you no gradiation might be canceled b.c of the rain! IT CANT BE, i just bought a whole new outfit!!!

ugh, that will piss me off.

well thats all i gotta say, ill bbl.

I love you Nick

Love, Lauren

MY BIRTHDAY IS TOMARROW!!!